If there's one day that every girl dreams about, it’s the day she walks down that tastefully decorated church aisle towards a man whose hello was the end of her endings. Wrapped in white and quaffed to perfection; everybody worth their invitation knows that today is all about the bride. Period.
While the thought of marriage crosses my mind as frequently as Rebecca Black's Friday video, the vast majority of women out there have dreamed about their wedding day as early as they could say "I do", hoarding scrap book upon scrap book of samples from previous weddings in preparation for their very own. From colour schemes, dates and bridesmaid’s dresses to venues, menu’s and bonbonnieres. She’s got it all figured out from the guest list to the type of man she intends to marry. She's the type of girl who has it all by now, in fact, the only thing she doesn’t seem to have is the question she’s been dying to say“YES” to all her life.
Let's get real. Thirty-something year olds do not get into a relationship without the prospect or even the conversation of wanting to get married. Just like bond repayments and life policies, this is the time of our lives to get serious about things such as love and marriage, especially if you've been in a relationship for more than eighteen months. Some girls wait much longer than they actually should while other skitches are lucky enough to find a man who is far more enthusiastic about commitment than they are. These are the ones who usually find themselves married and pregnant within the first ten months of courtship. I mean, why wait, right? When you know, you know...
But what about those of us that don’t know? The ones who are happy and content with the way things are? Surely if something isn’t broke, then why the hell fix it? Isn’t marriage after all just a costly contract declaring ones love and commitment to one another in front of a room full of people we never see that often in the first place, or is it something much more than bands of gold and ceremonials? Is it more than just some childhood fantasy for certain women and if so, then why are they sticking around with men who are too afraid to take the next logical step in their relationship?
There's definitely something in the water lately, what with two bridesmaid requests, three “Save the date” cards and two official wedding invitations. 2014 is clearly going to be a very expensive year, and while marriage was something I never really contemplated, I couldn’t help but wonder what it meant to friends like Rachel and Charlotte who always seemed to be the bridesmaids and never the bride. It was different for Charlotte who didn't seem too bothered about her single existence, but for Rachel, who had been in a relationship much longer than the recently fianceed couples, she could literally taste the bouquet.
Just like Brenda and Janna, Rachel was in her early thirties and committed to a man whom she loved and adored with all her heart. Those who know Rachel as well as I do know that she'd do anything for Ken and went to great lengths to keep him happy, from taking an active interest in his personal hobbies to putting up with his self-destructive commitment issues. She loved his flaws as much as she loved his strengths and was clearly in it for the long haul.
After nearly two and a half years of making a life together and several opportune moments where Ken could have popped the question, Rachel was beginning to wonder whether she'd missed the love boat. After years of dating loser upon loser, she had finally found a mentally stable prince and wanted to know where he stood on the topic of marriage. It wasn't as if he avoided the subject completely, he just seemed unsure, almost as if he was waiting for something better to come along.
Surely moving in together and planning for the future was a sign that he was ready to commit, so why was he delaying the inevitable? Was Ken suffering from a case of serious Peter Pan syndrome or was he just genuinely afraid of commitment? Should Rachel give him an ultimatum or would that just lead to unnecessary heartbreak? Was it time for Rachel to move onto greener pastures or should she stick it out, hoping that Ken will eventually come around?
There are very few things in life that a woman is willing to wait for. A good cup of coffee...a great pair of jeans...a man who is able to give her multiple orgasms, but just how long should a woman wait for a marriage proposal? Twelve months? Eighteen months? Twenty-four months? Is there a certain window period before the prospect becomes null and void? Surely one could always go the unconventional route of gender-bending if they wanted it so bad or would that defeat the purpose? Do some women so desperately need the validation of having a man to love them so much that he'd be willing to give up everything for the ultimate commitment?
When it comes to marriage proposals and when you know you won't get better than this, why the wait?