Tuesday, 18 April 2017

The Secret

My hypocritical eyes wander like an explorer,
Blindly into the crevices of secretive lives,
The adventures that lurk behind the corner
Are covered in shameless, pitiful guise

The battle was born between conscience and faith
A war between head, heart and feet
The bombs that we threw by foolish mistake
Made morality suffer defeat

My memory stings like salt to a wound
The blanks unhinge like a haunting
These blossoms of lust have gone into bloom
Without any hint of a warning


Resilience cannot be taught through the base of a shiny, shallow spoon
It has to be forced down the gullet and earned like a callous
Hiding hard and hideous beneath ones shoe

What does my pale skin know about privilege and strength?
Cursed with diligence and bound by indifference,
A slave forever fashioned to fit their mold
A pound for the flesh but a shilling for your soul

Powerless and inferior to the monsters who call themselves gods
Whose babes were inbred and serpent like
Slithering silently through gardens of limitless pleasure
The reward for obedience, infinite treasure

Survival of the fattest whose pockets run deep
Blessed are we who are tender,
What good are the heavens, the kingdom, the glory
If we rarely reap seeds of our labor

Mr. Monday night

"Beware of the serpant" the innkeeper said,
As I walked into Eden in search of a bed
His name wasn't Adam, nor Peter nor Paul
A sight for the sockets, so handsomely tall

He beckoned to follow him under the tree
So I lit a smoke and decided to free
My thoughts, inhibitions, original guise
Believe me, you would have if you'd seen his eyes

His garden was green but not that much greener
And as for the fruit, well I have had sweeter
Not much of a talker but boy when he moved,
Like synchronized swimming, on point and in tune

We both reached the mountain, one rock at a time
Our bodies ignited, his first and then mine
A precedent set by a Saint made of skin
Hold onto your stones if you live without sin

The day he cheated...

Lightening struck the same place more than twice that day,
The clouds should have been a warning
Deceived by doubt and skies of uncertainty
Day in, day out every morning

Soul said one thing but heart said another,
My mind was slightly unstable
And while the tides turned into seas of temptation
My body was willing and able

The thought was enough to live out its sentence,
The crime a true test of faith
Caught in a prison without any warden would warrant a reason to stray

And now looking on alone in this tower
The question still seems so unclear
Should I bury the burden that hoards all the power, or carry the weight of my fear?

Fire is catching

The fire choked the wood sticks black
Smokey sweeping shadows emerged from the ashes
The smell of rot sinks deep into my skin
Like an everlasting essence that stings me like thrashes

One. Two. Three times a liar
Shame on me twice but the third time inspired
Burn through the pages that speak to my soul
The Phoenix is rising from dust into coal

I know who made me what I am today
And I know what made me who I was back then
Predications are futile when it comes to the flame
This fire is catching and will scorch once again

Where is the moon tonight?

Where is the moon tonight? She cried
Is he hiding well and clear from sight?
Like Venus searching for her perfect Mars
She always wonders where you are?

A feeling stirs just like the ocean
That wave crashing, baptized emotion
A sudden swell of salty tide
Ebbs and flows through time's demise

Where is the moon tonight? She'd sigh
That glorious glow of flickering light
No guarantee or hope of your return
Tomorrow's sun is where she'll burn

Where is the moon tonight? She'd cry
Does he know that all she did was try
The stars are plenty but compare to none
For the moon my love, can only be one

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

I couldn't help but wonder...

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell 

Who knew that the engineer behind the first working telephone could have such a profound take on life? As if his contribution to communication and elocution wasn't enough, he was also a prophet speaking volumes about human nature and our inability to let go of things we hold so dear, especially when their ending is so long overdue. Too often we cling to the familiar and define ourselves by our daily routines, afraid to unmask ourselves and see through our limitations, even if it means immersing ourselves in the deepest, darkest oceans that run deep with our souls.

For Sex in the C.T.,  it's time to say goodbye. What started off as just another dude in a dress somehow turned into something more. It found a place and a voice of its own in the hearts and lives (and subsequently Facebook feeds) of many. Like all modern day musings, my intention was to communicate and marry indifference, making the world realize that we are actually one and the same in certain aspects of our lives. We are unified through similar experiences, heartaches, pleasures, pains and situations especially when it comes to making sense of love, life and of course, sex.  Do I have the answers? Not a fuck which is why I'll probably keep questioning in some way or another...

My first literary brain child has been inspired by a number of wonderful people in my life. Some of you know exactly who you are (and that as I promised, will go down with the ship) while others had no idea how much they truly inspired me. I have evoked feelings of unintentional and sometimes intentional pain using words to hurt for which I am truly sorry. But I have also evoked a thought process through my ramblings, providing an alternative view for those standing at one of life's many cross roads. Whether through personal introspection and experience or living vicariously through the hearts and souls of my fellow sister friends and brothers, I hope at the very least to have made some kind of a difference.

It is with great sadness but great relief that I say goodbye to my baby blog. Because of you, I am wiser and more mindful of the power words carry and hope to use that in more creative ways. A new journey and adventure awaits in the form of self reflection, The Manni Diaries. It's time to look back at the past and through it, find my future. As I find myself in a more honest surrounding, I can no longer rely on the stories and antics of others no matter how hilarious, sad or just plain salacious they may be.

To all the loyal fans across facebook and twitter that tuned in every Thursday for their SITC fix. Thank you. To Women24 for your constant support especially Carmen, Lili, Jana, Meagan and Tammy. Thank you. To my many muses across the globe. This blog would have been nothing but a blank space if it weren't for you and the wonderful stories you have shared with me. Respect. Keep being the individuals you are as you embrace new challenges and life choices that may bring us closer or further apart. Thank you. To Aiden, my ultimate and editor. Thank you. I know some of the things I wrote weren't always the easiest to read.  And last but certainly not least, to Cape Town. There really is no place quite like the mother city and in my heart, you will always be home.

So as I hang up my tutu and pink strappy top for one last time, I couldn't help but wonder...as one chapter closes, what lies behind the new door that stands in front of me?  

Watch this space....#TheManniDiaries