Thursday, 9 August 2012

What women want

From a very young age, we are challenged with certain obstacles and situations that parents, teachers and life throw at us and while some of us are smart enough to figure them out on our first attempt, others can spend a lifetime struggling to get it right. Shape boxes, mathematics, crosswords and multiple choice array of problem solving riddles designed to strengthen and stimulate the logical, more practical side of the human brain. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how many apples Mary would have if John had two more than Sarah, I was starting to believe that it might take a rocket scientist to deconstruct the complex emotions that make up a woman's mind.  

I am willing to bet almost anything that not even Einstein himself could present a theory that would answer the million dollar question lingering on so many male minds....what the hell do modern day women really want? The answer that so many men seem to settle on is what do women want today? Are we really that indecisive about what we want? Surely the number one prize was still unconditional love and adoration but these days a chocolate covered penis that ejaculates hundred dollar bills seems to top that. Sureya's facebook comment was not helping my argument against a 26 year old cousin of a friend that I found myself being interrogated by over dinner last Friday night. "Girls my age don't want to date guys like me. They're only after older guys with money." Was Michael right? Had financial security replaced romance as the number one priority? What happened to sistas doing it for themselves?  

For Claire, a 28 year old starry-eyed English major, this was definitely not the case. I imagine Claire to be the type of girl Kate Winslet would play in one of those Shakespearean adaptations and even though I had only spoken to her a few times over lunch, I could tell that she was a hopeful romantic. She told me about her great love affair in Europe and how she knew that he was the one. The one? Were people still buying into that? She barely had time to finish her story when she received a call from an international number. Young Claire was being summoned by the very same gentleman caller she had just told me about. It turned out that Prince Charming had bought her a two week return ticket to Berlin just so that he could "see her smile again". As I felt my stomach begin to churn, I thought this was either the most expensive booty-call I had ever heard of or perhaps Claire was one of the lucky few to bag herself a real-life knight in shining armor.

"I don't think women know what they really want." After a lifetime of relationships, Brenda was ready to admit what most women struggle to come to terms with. Brenda had been in a relationship for four years with the one guy we all thought she was going to marry. After accumulating her own small fortune from a number of successful business ventures, she decided to buy a house with her then life partner. A week after the bond had been approved she dumped him in order to explore her options. Some say that this was the biggest mistake of her life but for the first time ever, Brenda realised what she really wanted. A little fun for now and eventually an equal, someone that didn't need mothering, a man that would challenge her mentally and one who wasn't threatened by her fabulous success.

I think Forrest Gump got it wrong. Life is not like a box of chocolates, woman are. We're all different and not knowing what to expect only adds to the mystery, and sometimes frustration, of what being a woman is all about. Combine that with those crazy monthly hormones and all you get is a regular girl trying to figure things out in her own time. We need time to process all the choices presented before us and why shouldn't we? For the first time in history woman have options other than mother and housewife and if Goldilocks taught us anything, it was never to settle for anything other than just right.

When it comes to cracking the biggest mind fuck of all time, is it a) good sex b) romance c) money or d) all of the above?

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