Every once in a while, a smash hit single storms onto the airwaves becoming the next overnight sensation. The impact can be so profound and universally appealing that it often becomes the soundtrack of the moment, penetrating our sonic senses with its infectious beats and relatable lyrics. But like every mass produced product, it doesn't seem to last for very long. Vulnerable and overexposed, the once playlisted track can only gravitate in one of two directions: a timeless classic or a one hit wonder.
As I launched into the chorus of Somebody that I used to know, I started thinking about music and its inextricable link to dating. After countless dates with several forgettable hook-ups and one night stands, one noticeably builds up enough material to create their own playlist of losers, hits and misses, let's call them guy-tunes just for fun. You'd think by the time you hit your mid-twenties you'd be able to tell a hit from a miss, but instead we allow our hearts to get the better of us every time, opening up to the prospect of a new long term relationship. It's no wonder we give them so much airtime. Nobody wants to be lonely, right? Some dates are instant hits while others simply need a little more time to grow on you. But what happens when the novelty wears off and the record starts to scratch? Do we simply discard all memory of its existence and move onto the next big thing? Are we really that expendable? If music be the food of love, then we're in desperate need of a different tune. There has been a serious lack of originality recently with far too many monotonous bullshitters and disappointing covers, auto-tuned and synthesised to perfection creating the illusion of a potentially harmonious relationship.
His name was Adrian and like the song goes, I thought I knew him. We met in the summer of 69 - it was actually 2007 - after having internet relations for almost a year. He was amazing and everything I could have hoped for in a Buddhist. Over the next two years, we traveled the nation to exotic places such as Clarens, Montagu and Prince Albert. I could see that our friendship was beginning to blossom into something more meaningful and serious. It wasn't long before it became the pink elephant in the room, something unspoken that I dare not act upon out of fear of losing a very special friendship. But alas, my heart was pounding faster than an 808 drum so I took a chance and poured my heart and soul out on a platter. You can imagine my surprise as he took me into his arms and said he loved me back. And then we kissed. It was perfect, just like a kiss from a rose. For the next 3 days I had a vision of love with images of us growing old together and adopting baby Asians. Oh Adrian.
Just as I thought we found love in a hopeless place...Freaky! Freaky! REEEEEMIX!!! He flipped the switch quicker than a Will Smith song. For no apparent reason, our pseudo-relationship had come to the end of the road. I returned to Cape Town with precious illusions in my head. I had plenty of time to think about the past couple of days and what had happened between the Buddhist and I. My emotions may have been all over the place but I knew one thing for certain, I was not prepared to lose this friendship so I tried my very best to salvage it before it dissipated into nothingness. All my efforts were in vain and my communication with him had been snuffed out like some candle in the wind. Before I knew it, I was writing him a four page letter begging him to unbreak my heart. The silence was killing me softly leaving me torn and devastated. To this very day I still don't know why. Was he the one that got away? Do all good things come to an end eventually? How could someone who reflected such love and light throw me into such a black hole? It's a little bit ironic, don't you think?
I have come to terms with this phenomenon but he didn't have to cut me out, have his friend collect his records and then change his number. I suppose the experience only made me stronger. I sleep better at night knowing that I'll probably be the best thing he never had. What a BIG mistake! Thank god for mainstream music! It's the safest, most healing platform from which to express yourself without seeming like a complete and utter emotional nut job. Yes, dating, like so much of today's current popular music, can be tedious and repetitive, but without it how the hell do we ever expect our hearts to go on?
When it comes to previous relationships, I couldn't help but wonder, are we all just rolling in the deep?