Sunday, 15 January 2012

The BIG issue...

When I was a child, I used to beg my mother to tell me ghost stories at night even though I knew they were bad for me. Lost souls trapped in the human world floating around aimlessly because of some unresolved conflict they left behind. And while the stories she told me still send shivers up my spine, they are nowhere near as frightening as coming face to face with the ghosts of relationships past.

Confronting the ex that banished you to cynical island can be an altogether terrifying experience. It's a moment we all dread and one we can never really anticipate. All we can do is smile, wish them well and pray to God that we look our best. The horror of running into an ex as significant as Big sent my entire body into a spasm, an inexplicable rush that came over me like hot rain. Even though I had prepared for this moment for over 4 years, I found myself completely and utterly speechless in his presence. Had I just seen a ghost from ex-mas past? I spent the entire night looking over my shoulder, double taking to make sure that I was not hallucinating. Why was he still haunting me after all these years especially now that I was in a real relationship...a relationship that he denied me? Did I still have Big demons that needed exorcising or was I simply taken aback by the unexpected nature of this apparition? I could not put my finger on it. What was it about the situation that had rendered me powerless? Did I still have feelings for him or had I merely become a ghost stuck in a parallel universe with unresolved issues?

Whether you believe in the supernatural or not, you cannot deny the powerful force behind human emotions. They're an unpredictable phenomenon that even infinite wisdom and better judgment cannot control. While it is extremely difficult to avoid these nightmare situations and our respective reactions towards them, we are the only ones with the power to prevent them from haunting us into the next relationship. We can choose to surrender our power to the unknown leaving us weak, vulnerable and insecure or we can confront the ghost head on and do our best to resolve any unfinished business we left behind. When it comes to matters of the past and the way in which they affect our future, why is it so hard to just cross over?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Manni, Great Post. another question: is it really necessarily (or good) to "let go"?

    okay. maybe we shouldn't hand on past flames on forever. perhaps a case of forgive but not forget?