Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Down with Love (A V-Day Special)

Love is a many splendoured thing, love, lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love…Sigh! Just like the ever-hopeless romantic love-fool, it all starts with a little song in our hearts and a sudden spring in our step. That elevated sense of euphoria that beats any schedule 7 high that comes whenever we lock eyes with that special someone who takes our breath away. It literally knocks you off your feet and suddenly, you're flying high and the world seems like such a perfect place. Yes, the power of love has a way of transcending its magic into our souls, spreading like cancer, and just like any terminal illness, the only cure for it is to go with the motions and wait it out.

Every year on the fourteenth day of the second month, we are reminded of this crazy little thing called love as we embark on one of the most commercially viable celebrations known to man; Valentines Day. The official Hallmark day for love glorified by anyone lucky enough to have finally found someone, a day to celebrate their love through simple romantic gestures such as a rose, a box of chocolates or a romantic candlelit dinner. What feels like a torturous, wicked game for singletons everywhere is actually just an extension of the eternal flame that burns between a man and a woman. True love sees past the pink smoke and careless whispers, making every day V-Day through simple acts of kindness and appreciation for that special one in a million. It's supposed to bring out the best in you...

But if love means never having to say you're sorry, what about couples who constantly find themselves apologising for bringing each other down? What happens when emotions become more than words and words of love turn into weapons of pain, anger and resentment? When you've been with someone long enough, it's perfectly normal to have the occasional spat between lovers. It's to be expected; but what happens when the one that you want suddenly becomes the target of your own misery? Is that the way love goes or is it time to end that supposed endless love?

"Down with Love" seems to be the mantra of 2015 with not one, not two, but three long-term relationships coming to a sudden end. As I found myself checking into the heartbreak hotel along with Bryan and Laura, I couldn't help but wonder...what could have possibly happened to bring about such a total eclipse of the heart? 

"When I first met Peter I wasn't just bleeding love. I was haemorrhaging! I was crazy in love. I welcomed it with open arms and just knew that he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with." Laura, 31 had met Peter in high school and had been partners in crime ever since. After nearly ten years of marriage, she decided to ask for a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. After hopelessly being devoted to one man for all her life, she had noticed that they were no longer compatible and stopped wanting the same things for their marriage.

"We got to a point where we both felt so much guilt about the things we said and did to each other. That's a heavy burden to carry, let alone acknowledge. Knowing that you're the reason for constantly bringing the worst out of someone and making them question whether or not they'd ever live up to your exceedingly high expectations is a pretty kak one. It's torture. Maybe we stayed too long out of comfort or maybe we just need a break from one another to figure our own shit out. I know deep in my heart that we belong together but at this point in our lives, we're just playing on broken strings."

And then there was Bryan. To know him was to love him. Six years into his engagement, he and his fiancee decided to call the whole thing off. " I suppose that's just the way love goes. One day you're falling and loving them truly, madly, deeply and the next thing you know, you're on a battlefield, trying not to kill each other. I always thought that love would keep us together, but sometimes it's not enough to heal the damages we cause unto each other. But the heart is resilient. I believe that it will go on..."

Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs while others simply need a break from it all to figure out whether those unchained melodies are really for them. Whatever vision of love you think you might have, sometimes it just isn’t enough to justify a marriage or romantic relationship that finds itself in critical condition. What might have been the greatest love of all the one day could suddenly turn into a highway to hell, bringing about the absolute worst in us. Is love just a losing game or does it just hurt sometimes instead? Surely, if things are truly meant to be, isn’t letting of someone you love worth the risk of getting them back in the end?
When it comes to the tragic demise of a bad romance, I couldn't help but wonder...what’s love got to do with it?

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