Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Profiler

When it comes to making certain decisions in life, the multiplicity of options can be altogether overwhelming. For the fortunate few who have exactly what they want, when and how they want it, I say "Brava!", but for the cautious kind with wavering tastes, variety is of the utmost importance. Shoes, food, make-up. We are spoiled for choice in every way, so why not take advantage while we still can. Nobody likes an impulse purchase especially one that cannot be returned within 30 days, which is why it's probably best to shop around as much as possible before tying yourself down to a long-term choice you'll end up regretting anyway.

Multi-tasking is one of the many skills required to survive this "time-is-money, money-is-time" day and age, and with the daily stresses of work and life constantly on the rise, it's no surprise that we apply the same dexterity to our own dating rituals. Long gone are the days where the single dating system reigned supreme, where we had to wait patiently by the phone for one guy to make one move. Like Dory, a girl's gotta keep swimming, and in an ocean as deep as the Mother City where every good guy is either married, taken or proudly gay, I couldn't help but wonder whether serial dating was the only way to go?

I had recently been introduced to a professional serial dater called "The Profiler" or as I prefer to call her,  Dora the Dating explorer. Like so many before her, Dora fell pregnant at an early age and thought that her unmarried union would last forever. It turns out, it didn't and while her daughter was definitely a product of love, the same could not be be said for baby daddy who seemed to be nothing more than a useless scrub.

After a much needed hiatus from relationship hell, Dora found herself back in the dating game with not one, not two but three times the amount of men in only half the time. She was dating a pub owner, a post-grad MBA student and a recently divorced high school teacher all at once, simultaneously optioning and ruling out each potential for that lifelong commitment. Being the prehistoric prude that I was and having never been on more than one date at a time, I was intrigued by Dora's approach to dating.

According to Dora, multiple dating was like taking a trip to the ice cream shop. Some days you feel like chocolate and other days you feel like strawberry. Sometimes you want to try something completely different and sometimes you feel like having all three (flake included). It's all about keeping an open mind and not being afraid to taste them all until you find that perfect flavour that keeps you coming back for more. But what were the rules and regulations of serial dating? The do's and don'ts, must and must nots? How does one make a dating spree work without hurting someone else in the process?   

"You must neva go on two dates on the same night, trust me, and you must always be honest, sana. If they ask you if you are seeing other guys, don't lie. Tell them the truth and don't get other people to lie for you either cause that's just shady wena. At the same time, don't brag about the number of guys you are seeing or bring it up in conversation because that makes you sound like a slut. Sweet kisses and over the top patla-patla is okay but don't go all the way until you think you are ready to get seriaas with at least one of them. It's probably also a good idea to keep a dating calendar and code-names for your dates in case you can't keep up. Most importantly, don't be that chick that goes cray-cray when you find out that you are dating a serial dater yourself! What's good for the goose and all that." 

Decisions, decisions, decisions. We get so obsessed with all these dating musts and lists of qualities we expect to find in a man that it often limits the fun and purpose of dating in the first place. When you're single, sexy and free, it's okay to dabble in a bit of this and that before taking the final plunge into a long term relationship. A date is just that, a date, so until you are ready to turn it into something more exclusive, the world is your dating smorgasbord.

When it comes to singling out the options, is a little dating spree necessary to find that perfect selection?   

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