Friday, 9 March 2012

Growing pains

There is a theory that has been around for centuries, a scientific hypothesis in which human beings such as you and I were developed from primates after years and years of physical, mental and psychological metamorphosis. And while many have criticized the theory of evolution for its absurdity - because the appearance of Adam and Eve out of thin air makes much more sense - one thing cannot be denied...we are almost always constantly changing.

No matter how hard we try to avoid it, change happens whether we like it or not. It starts right at the beginning, from infancy growing inside our mother's womb to puberty and adolescence, those awkward teen years where flat chests develop flotation devices and choir boy vocals transition from sopranos to Barry-tones. And while we may not have control over the physical stages of our development, we do have some say over the way we adjust our mindsets. The power to change circumstance is an amazing feeling and once you realise that change lies entirely in your own hands, anything is possible. Further education, a new career path, entrepreneurship...everything is possible with the right attitude and the right tools.

While some people embrace the winds of change with open arms, others prefer to stagnate and wallow within the breeze of their comfort zones. They say change is as good as holiday but what happens when it brings out the worst in our relationships? What happens when our personal goals and the things we do to achieve them start affecting the relationship we have with our significant other? My personal evolution got me thinking about ambition and how it was starting to affect my relationship with Aidan. Every second of my spare time is dedicated to changing my career in order to fulfill my own personal goals, and with the big 30 just a year away, my time to make an impact was running out. Surely the ones who love us the most will encourage and motivate us towards a happier self? Why in so many cases are we meant to feel guilty about wanting more out of life? Is being selfish in this instance really such a bad thing or is it actually necessary in order to succeed? 

Relationships are tricky but beautiful things. The shift from "I" to "we" happens so quickly that before you know it, you lose yourself completely and forget about the things that were once important to you. Priorities get put on the back burn and you end up resenting your partner for his or her stunted growth. Unless you have the understanding and patience of a saint or are fortunate enough to be in a relationship where growth is mutual and inspiring, things may not work out in the end. Once that fire is ignited within yourself, again nothing can stand in your way.
I couldn’t help but wonder, when it comes to relationships, why is evolution such a difficult concept to grasp?

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